Days of Sobriety

Day 8: Post 30 Days Planning

Wednesday, Feb 11, 26

TL;DR

Slept great again. Woke up at 5am had some coffee. I had 2 loads of laundry to do and then hit the gym and sauna. Got my laundry folded and hung up right away. We had a calmer/slower yoga session that matches the vibes of the morning – it was raining.  I met with my case manager to start talking about plans for once I complete the residential program. Got some blood taken and met with the doctor for some med changes. Ended the night with an AA meeting in Bay Ho – it was a better format than previous meetings we’ve gone to around San Diego. I called it an early night around 10pm. 

Start of the Morning

5:00 AM

Woke up at 5am. Did about 2 miles on the treadmill and then some time in the sauna.  I also needed to do laundry and got all my laundry done in 2 loads and folded before the first meeting of the day.  

Morning Reflections

8:00 AM

 

Yoga

9:00 AM

This was my 3rd time doing yoga. It was a slow and gentle day since a lot of people weren’t feeling so great.  Did a lot of breathing techiniques and stretching.

 

Medical Appointment

10:15 AM

Met with the doctor again.  Gabapentin was changed from 300 mg twice a day to 900 mg three times a day. He also had me start Naltrexone now that the Valium taper is complete.  

 

Case Management

10:30 AM

Had a one on one with my case manager to talk about preparing / thinking about what the next steps are after my 30 days here. Orginaly my plan was to go back home and resume my normal life, but to be successful the reovery process takes about 90 days.  I broke down the recovery spectrum below.  My plan is to move into sober living and go into a PHP for month and then into an IOP. 

From what I understand, most PHP and IOP programs have sober living connected with the programs so you live with the same people you go through the programs with. There are some separate sober livings options that are very expensive and work with some PHP and IOP programs but it is a lot more complicated and most programs prefer you  live in their sober living environments. 

My case manager gave me a ton of information and places to look at. I am thinking of just staying in the north coast area… but it could also be a cool opportunity to live in University Heights or Downtown San Diego for a bit. She also recommended a sober living in San Juan Capistrano. 

The Recovery Spectrum

1. Residential Treatment (Inpatient)

This is the highest level of care. You live at the facility 24/7, providing a complete break from the triggers of your daily life.

  • Intensity: Very high. Your entire day is structured with therapy, groups, and medical monitoring.

  • Best for: People in early recovery, those with a high risk of relapse, or those who need a safe environment to stabilize after detox.

  • Duration: Typically 30, 60, or 90 days.

2. Partial Hospitalization Program (PHP)

Often called “Day Treatment,” PHP is the middle ground between living at a facility and going home.

  • Intensity: High. You spend 5–7 days a week at a clinical center, usually for 6–8 hours a day.

  • Living Situation: You go home (or to a sober living house) at night.

  • Best for: Those who have completed residential treatment but still need a full day of clinical support to stay on track.

3. Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP)

IOP allows you to maintain a “normal” life—like going to work or school—while still receiving significant professional help.

  • Intensity: Moderate. Usually 3–5 days a week for about 3 hours per session (often in the evenings).

  • Focus: Heavy emphasis on relapse prevention, coping skills, and building a support network.

  • Best for: People transitioning out of PHP or those whose addiction is caught early enough that they don’t require 24/7 supervision.

4. Outpatient Program (OP)

This is the least intensive clinical level of care.

  • Intensity: Low. Usually consists of one or two therapy sessions (individual or group) per week.

  • Focus: Maintenance and ongoing check-ins.

  • Best for: Long-term recovery management.

5. Sober Living (Transitional Housing)

Unlike the others, Sober Living is not a treatment program; it is a living environment.

  • Intensity: Varies. There are no “clinical hours,” but there are house rules (curfews, drug testing, chores).

  • Purpose: To provide a safe, substance-free home while you attend PHP, IOP, or work.

  • Best for: Anyone who doesn’t have a stable, drug-free home environment to return to.

Lab Work

11:30 AM

Got some lab work done, mostly liver, kidney and various other panels the facility ordered. I had a check list sheet of other stuff I could add. I think I added TSH and vitamin D to the list.  We had to fast for this blood draw… which I only remembered after doing 2 miles on the treadmill so I was hangry by 11:30am. 

Lunch Time

12:00 PM

It’s the chefs “sunday” and with everyone running around in various case management, medical appointments, therapist meetings and various other stuff,  they ordered Leucadia pizza and salad. 

Creative Expressions

1:30 PM

This session was mostly focused on internal and external triggers, coping strategies and replace prevention planning. 

More Treadmill Time

3:00 PM

Had some free time and went back to the treadmill for another 30 minutes.

Life Skills in Recovery

4:00 PM

In this session we talked about what are core beliefs. 

Reflection / Recovery Meeting

6:00 PM

We went to a Women & Alphabet Mafia only AA meeting in Bay Ho. I really liked the structure and format of this meeting compared to some of the other meetings we have gone too. I connected with 2 guys that also go to the crown point meetings on Sundays. 

In this meeting we go through the Big Book paragraph at a time and have discusssions and cross talk related to what was just read. 

Dinner

8:15 PM

In order to make the AA meeting, we had to leave early and have dinner when we got back. I got the pad thai with spring rolls. 

Evening Time

9:00 PM

It was a long day. I went to bed early at 10pm.

Building Support Systems

This mornings discussion was based on the article below and how we build a success support system and what that looks likes.

How to help your potential support system really be helpful
~Josh King, PsyD, Center for Motivation and Change

Many people start using substances (often as teens) as a way to engage socially.  The reality is that almost all substances with abuse potential initially have a “social lubrication” effect (i.e., they are dis-inhibiting, relaxing, anxiety-reducing, buffers to self-criticism, enhancers of pleasure, etc).  The problem?  Further down the road (and sometimes right out of the gates), use patterns become much more solitary, withdrawn and isolated.  Many have suffered through conflicts with family and friends and, by the time they seek treatment, feel disconnected from potential supporters of change.  In addition, to break the destructive patterns that are in place when they seek treatment, they have to distance themselves from current friends who engage in the same behavior (party pals etc).  The reality of “loss”…that is the loss of the relationship with the substance and with the people around it…and the awareness of distance from potentially supportive family and friends makes the early stages of change very hard to tolerate at times.

Research has shown time and again that having a robust support network can significantly reduce the odds of relapse (or the length of relapse should there be one).  So, to best achieve one’s recovery goals, it’s best to involve as many people as possible, even though it can feel like the exact opposite of what you want to do when you are first making significant life and behavioral changes.

Below are tips to on how to build your support team.

1.  Start by educating yourself and others about what you need
As we are sure you’ve noticed, there is a lot of information out there about substance abuse and treatment.  Some of it is helpful and some of it is simply not true.  For family and friends to understand what you’re going through, they need to learn more about substance abuse, about the types of treatment available, and about what you are doing and feeling!  It’s not always easy, but the first step is to have frank conversations about what you are going through and what you need to keep moving forward.  We also recommend pointing them to professional resources, like books, or websites run by professionals (like this one!) as it will add some credence to what you’re saying to them.

2.  Tell them HOW they can help; be brief and specific.
If you want something from someone, it best to ask for it specifically, or you are not likely to get what you want.  Same goes for support . . . ask specifically for what you want from someone else!  This requires you to think through what would be helpful BEFORE you have the conversation.  Don’t worry though; you can always change your request later with another conversation.

3.  Be patient with yourself and with them
Most people are awkward and intimidated when making changes in behavior.  And when you are trying to interact with people who have distanced themselves from you (due to fear, anger, frustration, or your withdrawal from them) there is often a history of difficult interactions.  Be patient with family and friends who want to be supportive but don’t have the skills yet to pull it off exactly in the way that you need or wish.  Just like you, they may need some time, and some guidance to get it right.

4.  Pick up the phone!
Now that you’ve asked for help, if someone calls (texts, emails, etc) to provide that support, respond to them!  Sometimes that may be easy, other times it may be very, very difficult.  The more you can push yourself to stay connected, the more you can benefit from their support.  What do you do if you are having a bad day, and just can’t bear to talk with anyone?  Text, email or call them back and say…”hey, thanks for reaching out.  I need the day to get my thoughts together…but I’ll call you tomorrow.”  Try not to avoid, disappear, or fail to respond to efforts to connect from others as doing so will only make you feel worse (“I just can’t get my act together and now they are even more upset with me”) and make them more upset and worried (“He asked me to check in and now he is not answering…something bad must be happening”).

5.  Positively reinforce them
If you like something that someone does and you want them to keep doing it, give them some positive feedback!  Saying “thank you, that was nice” or “I really appreciate the way you handled that” goes a long way towards making those behaviors re-occur.  Almost everyone likes to be noticed and likes positive feedback or a compliment.  People in general like to know when they are getting it right.

Do you have any other tips for bringing in family and friends?  What has worked for you in the past?

Lunch

Building Community

The team of the day has been about building building community and support systems. We watched this documentary (worth watching) and had group discussion afterwards. 

 

Dream Chasers: The Fit to Recover Story | Addiction Recovery Documentary

Stages of Change

Later in the afternoon we worked through a Change Plan Worksheet and had group discussion on the stages of change. 

Steak Dinner!

Village Community Church AA Meeting

We ended the day with an AA meeting at the Village Community Church down the street from the house.  Tonight was also a book study meeting. Got to see some people that have already left the house.  

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